Far away from all the world news about war. From all the chaos taking over this earth. I am here , about to clean up my own mess.
I started this blog with much attachment to the past, because it hurt, and what hurts, keeps reminding us that it hurts. Just like a wound, it will keep hurting until fully healed. And maybe pain is the most vivid feeling we get and the most real. We can manage to fake all other feelings, yet pain is either felt or not.
By its own nature, it is there to show itself to u , im here, whether u want me or not, im here and u cannot avoid my presence.
Pain accompanies us since we are born, and it changes forms and faces and intensity. It goes up and down in circles and waves has no shape no direction, we cant change it we cant reform it we can only learn to live with it and turn it into power to create something else. So pain, is a resource.
Pain knows no ally or enemy, but it sure is heavier on those who carry their truth on their sleeve.
My pain was my country, and I carried its load with me, as I moved to this new place, where further pains kept coming my way, and got fused into a great masterpiece of frustration.
As I look back, I let go, of all the strings attaching me back , and stopping my path forward, I let go of all the people who disappointed me, who hurt me,intentionally, and non intentionally, who realized their mistakes and apologized, and those who were cursed with blindness in their heart, who could not see they did wrong, and who did not find courage to genuinly say sorry.
I let go of the expectations I had of loyalty, and I leave a feeling of pitty, on all those people who , if they didn’t lose me, lost my trust and respect. I let go of all the toxic coworkers, who are hungry for money and would do anything for that, I let go of the people who decide to exclude me on an outing that might cheer up my day or week or even month. I let go of people who I care about and who don’t reciprocate the care. I let go of the people who pretend. And I let go of the people who found ways and ways to make me cry. I let go of the people who saw my tears and didn’t care enough to make them stop. I let go of the weird people I met, of the scary things I felt, of the lies that faced my truth ,I let go of the ego that faced my humbled heart.
I let go of the country that let me down, of the regime that failed my life, of the selfishness and carelessness. I let go of bullies and ignorant people. I let go of the fears, of the bombs, of the war, of the warior planes, the anxiety and the lack of hope. I let go of the simple small dreams…
Come whatever may come, it is time to feel light, and unburdened by the carelessness of others, and uncontrolled by any emotions once imposed because of someone.
Flying outside the nest, began to make some sense. And flying alone, feels better than ever.
Hope you all get the strength to clean up your minds and let go too 🙂
Leaving you with a lovely picture of the sun setting behind Beirut. Letting go, with all possible colors floating on the Mediterranean horizon💙
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