I start typing and then I stop. Three, four times. Then I pick up the phone again. And I start a new draft. And thats the mind of a troubled human. It goes back and forth. Stops.starts again. I am in the farthest point I have ever been from home.
Today, I was waiting my uber driver, without any internet. And so I anticipated his arrival time as it showed, as I am in a new place, somewhere in Texas, not so familiar with the address, we could not meet and he cancelled my ride. I started crying, again, found my soul, getting tired from such a simple thing, feeling lost, homesick, and homeless inside. After I shed few tears, I said, you are strong, no need to cry for this, just find a solution.
I went in a nearby restaurant, with hot tears in my eyes, and asked for wifi. The guys eyes showed much empathy. And he gave me a hotspot. I ordered a car again, and waited outside. A lady came out and asked me, are you okay, do you need any help? I have missed this kind of kindness from people. And I smiled, with some more tears falling as I reply, thank you I am just bit tired.But thank you for asking me.
The new driver came, and asked me how I am. First reply was Im fine. Then I shared how the first car cancelled. As my eyes watered again. He said sorry this happened to you. And then asked me where Im from.as we started speaking, he shared some Arabic words he knew. The effort put into these attempts to try and connect with a total stranger like me, are efforts I will always remember.an ex military, and police officer, who has seen countless dead bodies, gun strikes, and who has sensed the smell of death for 15 years, was trying to comfort me, with the best way he knew. I asked how it felt. How it felt to survive these pains, how it felt to go back to an “ordinary” life. “This seems like a different world to me, I have seen it behind a tv screen, and never met someone who has actually lived this” I said. “You never forget these things, you remember, but I think of all the people I helped, and that helps me” he mentioned. And he continued…” In life, you will give your energy to people, to help, and then its their job what they do with what you give”. “I am sharing this energy with you now, giving you some positivity, you take it, and give it to someone else”.
With this being said, I told him you see why my first driver, cancelled, because life wanted me to sit here and hear to this, I really needed it today”. Specifically, today, when my mind is sinking back to the darkness. Someone was sent to me, to remind me.
With this story I end today, to share more with time…
Give to someone, what you have received today. They may be, just like me, in the darkness, needing this tiny beam of light.