How we love.

Since we can remember humanity’s existence, we can see how love has impacted every single aspect of our history. From simple art, to devastating wars.

It is against human nature to say : forget about love. It is what we are made of, and the reason we keep existing, and basically, saying such thing goes against our own survival instinct.

Love spreads its roots anywhere and to anything. From loving a person, to loving a land.

I decided to write about this today. I’ve been wondering a lot. And there will be endless generations after me, who will take on the path and keep wondering. What is love. Where does it come do we know its does it reveal itself.

Probably if we knew all the answers, we would have resolved so many of our own complexes so easily. So, this writing, will not lead to any definitive answer, or concrete fact.

Love is kindness, love is care, love is trust, love is gratitude, love is belongingness, love is whole, it is peace, it is help, it is mercy, love is empathy, love is a giver, love is healing,love is patient, love is colorful, love is fair. It is home, wherever it is. Love, is the one and only safety boat that would get us,fragile humans, through the stormy waves of life.

How people show love, is not bound to one way. It is how we were taught to show it. Some by being tough and strict, others by being overprotective, by giving space, by being attached, by sharing all the joys, some by hiding all the pains, by being there all the time, by caring for the tiny details of a simple daily life,some show love by hugs, by touch, some by words or even looks. There are 7 billion ways how to show love, and none of them looks like the other, but there is one concrete thing that no matter where and how and when, it is true, that love cannot be hidden, bottled up or contained. Love will always find a way, to show up uncovered, one way or the other.

I’m sure you are reading and thinking, if love is all this, why does it cause so much trouble, so much stress, so much problems.

Because expressing love is relative.

The way each one of us shows love, is the way we expect to receive it as well. And as we use our own unique styles to express what’s inside of us, we forget that love is about the receiving end, and not the one giving it. As love is not selfish,as love is empathetic, it will look to the receiver, and provide what they seek. And as we heal by healing others, our love goes from inside, to the person, adding up their love, giving it back to us, and then adding up our own love.

We fail to show our love, because we show it the way we want it, but it is actually all about the other. And for that we need a great amount of understanding. Of reading, interpreting, analyzing, and eventually, giving what the person needs. And this, is the hardest part of all. That is why, we fail in maintaining relationships. When both ends provide what is needed, there is enough clarity on the language of love. If we speak 2 different languages, and we learn how to speak both, then there is never room for things to be lost in translation, there is never room for frustration.

Understanding, is the toughest task of all. Because it requires a lot of logic, and love does not go from the logical part of the brain. But what understanding can do, goes way further than what love can do on its own. And how difficult it is to understand, when we are in the middle of our own internal struggles and pains and randomness. Humans are fragile indeed, but are very complex creatures. Till day, we are unable to resolve so many mysteries about our own nature. And we expect others to understand us, if we didn’t manage to understand our own selves.

Seems like a dead end?

Never. As long as we have our survival instinct, we will always find ways around. There is one thing we are fully in control of, and that is communication. If we try to communicate our expectations, our needs, our likes and dislikes, we pave the way for a better understanding, we give room for more inspiration, and with better understanding, well you know how it goes now…

Love is not that difficult, love is love. We make it difficult with our own actions.

With all that being said, if you are reading this and you love someone, I hope you put your ego aside, your insecurites, your lack of understanding of the other person, the ways you were shown as a kid how love should be, your fears and troubles, and simply ask the person, what can I do better to show you my love?

Leaving you with a picture of what I love the most in this world.

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