Self Healing Memos-Accepting Change

I was reading recently how breakups and separation can cause physical pain equivalent to a broken arm.

It is no lie that when we grieve, or separate from someone, or a place we love, we feel a heavy burden, and the symptoms that we experience are much similar to withdrawal symptoms. Pain, mood swings, headaches,anxiety, lack of energy, the need to go back.

When you move yourself away from a certain place, or a relationship , or any similar “daily habit” , it wont be as easy. It wont be just change. You will experience certain events in some chronological order, and it will take time to accustom to the new way of living.

Bare in mind, when you decide to change something, this change wont happen overnight, to put a decision into action, it might occur overnight, like deciding to move, to leave behind a relationship that is toxic, deciding to quit smoking or go on a diet.

The thought however for sure has been there for a longer time, long enough to develop into action, the action might come out as a shocking one, but that is not all. What happens after you take a certain decision, is what matters most. How you deal with it, will shape you for the future.

Change happens daily, in slow small things, tiny decisions that we take, so that the pain of change doesnt cause a shock and then an adverse event pushing us back even more.

Keep in mind, that going back to an old habit, doesn’t mean you did not decide to change or adjust, it just means you need to slow down and go a bit easier on yourself, in a pace that suits you more. A pace that will reduce the pain of these symptoms.

When you move outside your country, you will still miss it, still visit, when you breakup with someone, you will still miss and still text from time to time, when you diet you will still eat that burger, and when you decide to quit smoking, you will still smoke while stressed maybe 1 cigarette a day, maybe even 5 maybe 20, a bit less than the pack you used to. All that matters here, is for you to know one thing, you are making progress, even if it is a tiny microscopic change.

You are half way there, the moment you intend to do something, but after the intention, you will experience a series of back and forth waves and that is okay. It is okay because time after the other, this pain of change will start getting smaller and smaller, until it no longer triggers these overwhelming emotions and symptoms within you.

Whatever it is, that made you alter a path somewhere in some area of your life, if you feel it is too much, if you feel its painful, go a bit slower, acknowledge the effort you are putting, acknowledge the pain, the sadness, the tiredness, and have mercy on yourself, you are not failing, you are gradually undergoing a withdrawal process, which like any “substance”, will take months and months to completely “detox” from your body, mind and soul.

Leaving you with a picture of the gothic vibe of Prague that doesn’t change.

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